5 Longish jokes about Insurance jokes

Here's 5 longish jokes about Insurance salesmen.

Mr. John Mumford III, was a rich old man was dying from a rare disease. On his deathbed, he called for his insurance agent, doctor and preacher:
"I trusted each you my entire life. Now I want to give each of you $30,000 cash in an envelope to put in my grave. I want to take it with me."
Mr. Mumford died and at the funeral, each one placed the envelope on top of the man, then he was laid to rest.
On the way from the funeral, in the limo, the doctor confessed
"I must tell you gentlemen, I only put $20,000 on top of Mr. Mumford, I wanted buy this new machine that would enable me to diagnose his rare disease and save others. It's what he would have wanted".
Then the preacher said: "I have to confess, I only put $10,000 on top of Mr. Mumford. We needed that money to help more homeless, and it's what Mr. Mumford would've wanted".
The insurance agent was angry at both the man, and said: "I can't believe both of you, stealing from a dead man. I wrote Mr. Mumford a check for the full $30,000!


Mr. James Barricks, was a rich old man was dying from a rare disease. On his deathbed, he called for his insurance agent, doctor and preacher:
"I trusted each you my entire life. Now I want to give each of you $30,000 cash in an envelope to put in my grave. I want to take it with me."
Mr. Barricks died and at the funeral, each one placed the envelope on top of the man, then he was laid to rest.
On the way from the funeral, in the limo, the doctor confessed "I must tell you gentlemen, I only put $20,000 on top of Mr. Barricks, I wanted buy this new machine that would enable me to diagnose his rare disease and save others. It´s what he would have wanted."
Then the preacher said: "I have to confess, I only put $10,000 on top of Mr. Barricks. We needed that money to help more homeless, and it´s what Mr. Barricks would´ve wanted"
The insurance agent was angry at both men and said: "I can´t believe both of you, stealing from a dead man. I wrote Mr. Barricks a check for the full $30,000!"


An insurance salesman, risk manager and a safety director are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. "I only have two rooms, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn," the innkeeper says.
The safety director volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others go to bed.
In a short time they´re awakened by a knock. It´s the safety director, who says, "There´s a cow in that barn. I´m a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred animal."
The risk manager says that, OK, he´ll sleep in the barn.
The others go back to bed, but soon are awakened by another knock.
It´s the risk manager who says, "There´s a pig in the barn. I´m Jewish, and cannot sleep next to an unclean animal."
So the insurance salesman is sent to the barn.
It´s getting late, the others are very tired and soon fall asleep.
But they´re awakened by an even louder knocking. They open the door and are surprised by what they see: It´s the cow and the pig!


An underwriter, an insurance agent, an old lady and a beautiful blonde find themselves together on a train. The train passes through a tunnel and in the darkness a loud slap is heard. When out of the tunnel and in the light, they see that the insurance agent has a red five finger mark on his cheek.
The blonde is thinking: the insurance agent must have tried to grope me in the dark and mistakenly groped the old lady, so she slapped him.
The old lady is thinking: that guy must have groped the blonde in the dark and she slapped him.
The insurance agent is thinking: the underwriter must have groped the blonde in the dark and she mistakenly slapped me instead of him.
The underwriter is thinking: I can´t wait for the next tunnel so I can slap that damn insurance agent again!!!


An accountant, architect, and insurance agent work in the same office building. They constantly argue who´s the smartest dog. They decide to bring their dogs to work the next week, and let the dogs actions determine who is the smartest.
The accountant opens a big box of dog biscuits and throws them on the table. He instructs his dog "Count" to add up the total biscuits. The well groomed female dog winks back muttering "ninety five." The account smiles and stretches back in his chair. He says "beat that!"
Going next, the architect uses the same box of biscuits. His beautiful female dog is "Bridget". Quickly the dog builds a three tiered, well designed bridge. The owner proudly says to the insurance agent, "You sure can't top that, it took me years to train my dog to do everything exactly right."
The insurance agent replies "training means nothing, you need natural instinct." He brings out his mongrel male dog, "Commission". Next he throws the dog biscuits in the trash. "Commission" instinctively rushes over to the two dogs, screws them both, and takes the rest of the day off.