Bricklayers Accident Report

This is supposedly a true account of an accident report filed by a bricklayer. 

Dear Sir: "I am writing in response to your request for additional
information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor
planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller
explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.


I was alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed
my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed
later, were found to be slightly more than 500 lbs. Rather than carry
the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using
a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth
floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.Then I went down and untied
the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form, that I weigh
135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost
my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
descending at a rapid rate. This accounts for the fractured skull,
minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the
accident report form.

Slowed down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers on my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of! mind and was
able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a
great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.

Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed
approximately 50lbs.

I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming
up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and
several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck seemed to change. Hitting the barrel seemed to slow me
enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and
fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,
in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind
and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel beginning
its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your questions.