Saturday 2 July 2011

Health Insurance Jokes

Several cannibals were recently hired by a health insurance agency. "You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don´t eat any of the other employees."

The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You´re all working very hard, and I´m satisfied with you. However, one of our CSR´s has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"

The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the CSR?"

A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool! For four weeks we´ve been eating Producers and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat the Customer Service Representative!"

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A health insurance agent is walking down the beach, sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie emerges.

She says "Normally I grant three wishes, but in your case, I am going to grant only one".

He thinks a minute and says - "OK, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed".

She says "So be it!", and disappears back into the bottle.

Next morning, he wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hilary Clinton. He has no penis, a broken leg, and no health insurance!

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A brilliant man goes to the hospital one day. "Doctor, I think I'm too smart. I can’t communicate with other people because nobody else sees things the way I do and it's ruining my social life. Is there anything you can do?”

The doctor performs many test on the man, and finds that he is too smart for his own good. The doctor tells the man “Your IQ is 250, which is much greater than an average person. Luckily I can help you. I have a machine that will reduce your IQ to 160. You will still be very smart but you should be able to lead a normal life as well."

The man asks to receive the treatment immediately so the doctor straps him into the machine. Right after the doctor turns on the machine he gets a call from his ex wife and they have a heated argument for several minutes. All of the sudden the doctor remembers his patient and hurriedly turns off the machine, but is shocked when he sees the IQ readout at 75.
The doctor asks, "Are you ok?"

The formerly brilliant man doesn’t respond

The doctor shakes him, yelling "Say Something."

The main replies "Can I interest you in a health insurance policy?"

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